Warning

13 12 2008

*SPOILER ALERT* This blog is about a movie I went to see tonight, “The day the earth stood still”. If you still wanna go see it, then dont read this blog. If you think your time is precious and you dont want to waste two hours of your life and 8,5€ then do continue reading.

So tonight I went to see the remake, with Keanu Reeves. I hadnt read anything about the movie before I went to see it, which was a mistake I will NEVER make again from now on.

The movie started out rather promising with suspense and some special effects. The subject of the movie became very clear very quickly : aliens invading the world to save it from mankind who’s destroying it. “Ah well”, I thought, ” its been a while since I’ve seen an action packed, visually stunning movie about aliens that also carries a message. This can be good”.

Boy, was i wrong.

Keanu Reeves acts like a lobotomized android, which is a good thing I guess since he’s playing an alien but it’s kinda getting on your nerves after a while (I mean, I did like Nemo in the Matrix but there’s a limit to the amount of movies I want to see this character in). Sadly enough, all the other actors “act” the same way (Kathy Bates gives an entirely new meaning to “Misery”). Instead of using this medium to get the message across (we’re ruining this planet and we should change before everything is extinguished, including ourselves), the entire movie is about zombie-like Keanu (I’m sure his statue at Madame Tussaud’s looks more alive) determined mankind cannot change and therefore must be destroyed, running from the US army (being its usual self and just shooting and launching bombs without having a clue what they are fighting against) together with Jennifer Connelly, who’s playing a bambi-eyed scientist (I have serious suspicions they copy pasted some of her scenes from “the Hulk” into this movie) trying to convince him otherwise. Now as if that isnt enough, next to trying to save mankind on her own, poor Jenny is also struggling to win the acceptance and love of her black stepson (how PC !) whose father had died a year before. Talk about a full plate !

But well, turns out the mushy stepmom-story actually does have a purpose, other than making me roll my eyes so much they were almost popping into the back of my head. Because its not the US army’s military “force” or Bambi Jenny’s pleading that makes the alien change his mind. Nooooo, its actually stepmom and stepson falling into eachothers arms, crying on top of the dead father’s military grave that makes the alien utter these words of wisdom : “At the abyss, they do change”.

After which he walks into the globe (the new age-version of the space-ship in the original movie), ends the destruction of the earth and takes off.

Which made me utter these words of wisdom : “OH GIMME A BREAK !!”

I can describe this movie with one word : “yawn”





Bitbit

19 11 2008

Now even though I swore to myself when I started this blog that I would never write about Bitbit Spears, her latest comment left me no choice but to react.

Apparently Britney “Look at me, I recently regained my sanity” Spears told the press that she thinks (yes, miracles DO happen) she made a mistake by marrying Kevin “Look mom I’m a badass gangstah rappah” Federline.

I almost thought there was some hope for Bitbit. Yes, I thought, this “wisdom” does confirm the messages in the reliable tabloids that she has indeed finally come to her senses (not that i care really).

But then she continued by explaining WHY she thought so (she should have known better than to actually explain herself to anyone). She said, now get a seat for this one : “I think I married him for all the wrong reasons. Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it for the idea of [marriage and] everything”.

I mean .. HELLOOOOOO ??? She married that hairy icky wannabe rapper for the IDEA of marriage ? Nice idea .. cost her a fortune and custody over her two kids (waiting for the interview where she says similar things about those two sad puppies), pushed her over the edge of sanity (granted, she’d already been flirting with that edge for a while but still), made her shave her head, got her locked up in a psych ward, … and the list goes onnnn and onnnnn and onnnnnn.

Yeah, great thinking there Bitbit. Can’t wait for your next thought ..





Hot gossip : Cindy McCain caught cheating ?

12 11 2008

Soooo, apparently there are pics of Cindy McCain smooching with a guy who isnt “old dinosaur”McCain.

Well, not apparently, i actually saw one of them. And in good paparazzi-style the pic is blurry, taken from a distance and you cant tell a thing !

But still, it’s published in the National Enquirer (yes, i’d go to any length and stoop this low to keep you all informed) so IT MUST BE TRUE !

More info later on the ACTUAL people on the pic or maybe a juicy lawsuit.





The day no one thought would ever come

11 11 2008

Yes, boys and girls : after 4 years of silence, Jennifer Aniston has finally commented on the Brangelina fairytale !

For those of you who have been living in some cage for the past years, Angelina (or Santa Angelina as the tabloids like to call her) recently admitted in an interview that things DID start heating up between her and Bradly on the set of “Mr & Mrs Smith” (as where before both her and “poppa Pitt” denied that and claimed things only started after Bradly had divorced Jen). Liars, liars, sexy asses on fire !

Anywhoe, Jen struck back with this icy comment : “What Angelina did was very uncool”.

Score for now : Jen 1 – Brangelina 6 (and going on 8 or so i’ve been told)





White meets Keys

11 11 2008

Jack White and Alicia Keys team up for what will probably be known as the worst 007-song ever.

Or how everyone sells out eventually ..